i.mattchell

The Next Chapter

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve last blogged. A lot of change has happened and more is coming. The letter below is from an email I sent out last night to almost all of my contacts. I’d love for you to read it.

As of a couple weeks ago, I am no longer in employ at Catch The Fire (church) and am also no longer living in the High Park/Bloor West area. It’s been kind of crazy. My work at Catch The Fire was coming to a close, and it seemed that the opportunity to serve on staff there was ending. At the same time, my roommate was also going through a period of transition and he felt that it was time for him to move out of Toronto.

As many of you know, I have a huge heart for England. I’ve been praying and looking toward the future for an opportunity to live there. With these two major transitions in my life happening at the same time, I realised that I am being provided with an opportunity for great change and adventure in my life (something I’ve wanted for quite a while); it’s time for me to pursue this dream of living over ‘across the pond’ and start a new chapter in my life. I can’t fully explain why, except to say that it feels like everything in me is being pulled to the UK.
There are so many reasons I want to be there. The UK is filled with such great history, culture, and innovation; there’s so much to learn and take part in. There’s so much going on and it’s such a great time for me to take the time for a life-changing two years. It feels so much like a “meant to be” decision to go and live and work in England and develop great skills and experience.

Here’s the challenge: to qualify for an applicable visa to live in England, I need to have at least eighteen-hundred British pounds (about $2900) in my bank account. Since my employment with Catch The Fire has ended, I’m unable to raise the funds on my own. On top of the necessary support funds, there are additional costs such as the visa application fee, the cost of the flight, luggage, and other miscellaneous fees and expenses for getting there as well as getting started.
I’d like to ask for your support in my endeavor to move to England and start a new chapter in my life. At this time, my pressing need is the means to qualify and apply for the visa and to book my flights. I would love and be so honoured if you would partner with me in this journey with a financial gift.

As mentioned earlier, I’m hoping to fly to England at the start of June. The visa application process is quick, and I’ve already begun the necessary arrangements to move overseas, but I need your help to make it happen.

It’s with great excitement, hope, and general “warm fuzzy feelings” that I send this to you and I’d love to have you as a supporting partner in this journey. I would be more than happy to answer questions about this new chapter and the process involved, and welcome your encouragement, wisdom, prayers, and feedback.

Sincerely yours,
Matt Mitchell

Risk, Failure, and Redemption

iPhone games are the path to self-awareness. What’s that you say? “Matt Mitchell, I think you have a problem”? Well, wait until you read the rest of the blog first, Mr/Miss judgement-person. Okay, maybe I do have a slight addiction, but the addiction is beside the point. Why are iPhone games the path to self-awareness? Well, they’re not, there, feel better now? Jeez.

You see, there’s this particularly awesome game called Triple Town. Essentially, you have a board with a certain number of squares that you have to fill up with the best buildings as possible. You build the building using a system of upgrading other things. You start with the most basic thing, and when you group three or more of that thing, it upgrades to one better thing. You then try to get three or more of that better thing together to upgrade to something even better, and etc. There are obstacles and aids and it gets pretty addictive trying to fill the board with the best things over and over. You should try it, it will better your life. Anyway, today, while playing this game, I realized something about myself and perhaps this is true of you too, or, you know, someone you know. I don’t fear mistakes (I know, that makes me pretty awesome; go ahead, start my fan club now before someone else does!); I fear making mistakes I don’t think I can redeem (cancel the fan club).

As long as I can see a path to turn the result of my choice into something bigger and better, I hesitate or avoid it. I do everything I can to make my risks as calculated as possible and minimize my failures as much as possible. 

At this point you might be thinking, “Well, that sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I think I’ll start that “Matt Mitchell is Awesome” club after all!” Well, don’t. My fear of making mistakes bigger than my ability to fix is definitely a weakness. Not making mistakes bigger than I can fix means I write off my friends, family, and leaders from stepping in and helping me out. It means that I’m afraid to ask for help. It means I don’t trust others to help me redeem things, or at the least, I don’t want to ask for the bother. Most importantly, to me, it means I feel this way not just about others, but about God. It means I’m not putting my belief in God “working all things together for my good because I love him.” 

Another thing I realized is that when freedom of choices and resources for making good choices (or turning bad ones into good ones) are running low, I tend to think short-sightedly and make even more bad choices, franticly hoping something good will come along. This is also bad, because it means that I have the susceptibility to rash decision-making under stress and that, again, I believe that when I don’t seem to have the ability to make something good out of the situation, I don’t have much hope so I might as well just get it over with.

Essentially, I need to work on the whole “faith that things will work out” thing and the whole “faith that things will work out even if it seems like things aren’t working out” thing, too. Maybe you, or someone you know (of course), have felt this way too? Maybe you have more grown-up ways of self-discovery than addictive iPhone games? Maybe you are much bolder and risk-takier than I? Maybe you’d like to share with a comment?

The TTC Town hall

I’ve been accused of being a big complainer when it comes to the Toronto Transit Commission. That being said, I’d bet most others who take it have also been told they complain about it too much.

I’ll come out and say it, frank and plain. I hate the TTC; it’s the shame of Toronto.

Tonight, a “Town Hall” meeting was called where TTC customers could come to voice their opinions, frustrations, and ideas for solutions to the TTC. The twitter feed @TTCnotices has been live posting the questions posed tonight. I read through all their live tweets and saw lots of great ideas and points. I didn’t, however, see any tweets about anything the TTC is doing or planning to do to improve itself or do anything about the things brought up.

I have many complaints about the TTV, which you can search through my tweets for, if you’re bored, but I’m not just a Donnie Downer (Debbie Downer’s half-brother); I do have ideas of how things can be better. Some call them “solutions”, but such language is perhaps not best; I prefer to call them “ideas with possibility for positive impact should they be feasible”.

Here are my thoughts:

• A financial audit. Ridership has increased and fares have increased, but service has been cut. The TTC is apparently going to be getting a cut in their funding, but that hasn’t happened yet. They’ve been decreasing service and raising fares for years, even though they’ve seen some growth in ridership.
• More government funding. Federal, Provincial, and Municipal funding needs to increase. Toronto is the biggest city in Canada and is the supposed to be “world class”. Ottawa hates us for the attention we get on a national and international level, though if they knew just how shameful our transit system is, maybe they would pity us instead. 
• Increase advertising spaces and prices. I see the stupidest ads on the TTC from wealthy local dentists who want to advertise their new whitening lasers. As much as I’m pro-local, we need to be selling the precious advertising space to big buyers. If it’s going to cost us some money to upgrade our facilities to make them more advertising-friendly, then do so. Sometimes money has to be spent to be made.
• Open the subways earlier on Sundays. I’m sure there are people who would take the subway before NINE AM(!) if it was just open! There’s just no excuse for that one.
• Do something about the disconnect between the organization and the drivers/operators. I’ve found that the TTC’s staff are powerless, in the dark, and disengaged from everything except for the task in front of them. There’s clearly a profound lack of communication as bus drivers have no idea about the state of service on their routes. I’ve been late to work more times than I care to admit because a bus was extra early, extra late, or just not there, and no one seems to be able to tell me why. The lack of communication, unity, energy, knowledge, professionalism, awareness, and skill in the staff of the TTC is absolutely staggering to me. I honestly don’t know how the organization stays afloat.
• Instead of decreasing service, increase it! Maybe you can get more riders and more satisfied riders if you do your job right. What kind of company makes its service worse to try and keep its cheque books in balance? A better service, a higher fare, opportunities for businesses and the public to invest, a fresh look and perspective, new staff who are engaged with the organization, more advertising space at a premium (and being used), new equipment and renovated stations, updated stations with built-in space for commerce, all this adds up to the ability to increase ridership and revenue. Take out a flipping loan. Create opportunities for privatization of certain routes, buses & trains, stations, subway lines, whatever. Do something to get enough cash to actually invest in yourself so that you can make more money. Instead of cutting and cutting and cutting, boost! If you continue to cut, your ridership will decrease and so will your revenue.
• Have some flipping accountability. Never in my life have I seen a company get away with such atrocious service without any recompense. No one takes ownership, no one makes amends with customers, no one explains why the problems happened and how they’re going to make sure they don’t happen again.  Delays continue to happen day in and day out and no one says or does a thing. Your riders feel that you don’t listen and don’t care. All you seem to want is more of our money at the booth and from our taxes, but you’re not doing anything with it that’s helping us. If you want our money, talk to us and listen to us.
• When you do take accountability and do listen to suggestions, do something about them. This isn’t the first time the TTC has had a forum with customers. If you’re going to ask for our feelings and ideas, take some action with them and offer us something. We don’t want to vent (we have the internet for that, ergo this blog post), we want solutions.
• Pay attention to the details. On vehicles… Have you ever noticed that the seats are wide enough for your bottom but not for your shoulders. Most men have shoulders the are wider than their hips, especially when wearing a coat. Have you ever noticed you can’t comfortably rest your arm on any of the ledges? Have you ever noticed that you have only enough leg room if you’re sitting up straight and even then your knees are touching the seat(s) in front of you? Ever notice how dirty the washrooms are in TTC stations and how few stations even have washrooms? Ever notice that buses and subway cars and streetcars don’t have the current time? There are a hundred and one little things where the TTC could have done better and could change for the better that they just don’t do. I constantly feel that no one in their organization must really care. Their branding and advertising is horrible (a sign that they don’t care about their image); they don’t follow schedules; they don’t have recompense for customers when they screw them over; they don’t pay attention to the details in the design of their vehicles and stations; they don’t keep things clean; they don’t modernize; they just, in every area, drop the ball with all the little things that add up to a pleasant experience. Even the uniforms of the TTC staff are an example of how the TTC just doesn’t give a you-know-what. I mean, that ugly maroon colour, that drab navy-ish blue, and those grey pants that look like the ones your grandfather own; it’s a horrible looking uniform and it doesn’t make their staff look good, professional, or approachable.

I really hope the TTC listens and takes heed to the good ideas brought by its customers tonight. If you’re interested in hearing what people other than myself have to say about the TTC Town Hall tonight, check out the twitter trending results.

Do you have anything you’d like to add about the town hall meeting or the TTC in general(or specifics) ? 

Twenty-Five

Last Thursday, I passed the quarter-century mark for life. I know, old, right?

Most birthdays come and go and people ask you, “do you feel any different?” or, “do you feel any older?” and you always answer, “no.”

This year, though, I think I do feel different. I think I do feel older.

Maybe I’m crazy, or maybe this is what the “quarter-life crisis” is, but twenty-five has brought with it a feeling of having to start accomplishing things. (If the mid-life crisis is “my life is half over” then the quarter-life crisis is “my life hasn’t even really started”. At least, that’s how it feels for me.)

I feel like I need to buckle down and get serious. Not that I have to stop having fun or not have any more adventures, rather the opposite. I need to start having more adventures. I need to start having more fun. I need to start doing those “big things” to do when you’re young and single and child-free. I need to take life by the horns and run with it.

Twenty-five feels like the year to start making changes in my life, or at least prepare for some. It’s the year I need to take myself seriously and start the rest of my life from. I need to ditch the bad habits and really embrace the good. I need to prepare, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and financially for all that God has for me.

God’s been talking to be a lot about this next year in my life; we’re making big plans. Just today, he was listing some of the desires of my heart to me and saying,

“I can do that in a year.

I can do that in a year.

I can do that in a year.

I can do that in a year.”

One by one, he was listing off almost all the things I’m believing him for. And the things that he didn’t say he would do in a year, he said he could put me on track for in a year. 

There’s a catch though, he’s said that I have work to do too. (shoot!)

So that’s twenty-five. I’m looking forward to blogging more about some of these changes when they start to flesh out.

I’m curious, reader, have you felt any changes with any of your recent birthdays?

I’m not a bird murderer

I was once an accessory to bird-murder. It’s true; it cannot be denied. My brother was driving me to church in my parents’ van and there was a bird sitting in our lane and it was just not quick enough to evade us. That poor pigeon met his demise on our windshield. I felt mortified, but also slightly amused. My little brother, mostly just amused. If you’re worried he’ll read this and be upset with me, worry no more; he’s one of those weird young people who doesn’t know how to work technologies (someday, in the future, people like him will be slave to robots, I’m sure; but I’ll free him in the great human uprising of 2039, but that’s another post, many years in the future from now and I’ve already said too much). He’s a great guy though, don’t judge him on that incident alone. That bird was surely close to death if it was stuck, barely able to fly, in the express lane of the 404. I’m just saying. I’ll never forget this incident, it felt so significant. It wasn’t, but it felt like it. I honestly felt like an accessory to the murder of roadkill.

It’s really easy to create definitions for ourselves from events like those. The world is very milestone-focused and is all about what you’ve completed, what your accomplishments. We often look at people as being as awesome as the greatest thing that they’ve done. We look at people with great accomplishments as being great. While it’s great that we celebrate people who are successful and that we reward and honour them, there’s a negative side effect to this kind of a culture.

We also do the opposite, and we do it a lot to ourselves. We often define our value based on the worst thing(s) we’ve done in life.

This

is

not

good

people.

I am so NOT a bird murderer. I’m not a vegetarian, but I don’t actually do the killing myself, I just enjoy the results. Also, I’m not a supporter of hunting or killing for sport, that’s just ridiculous.

I recently wrote about how I’ve struggled with the belief that others are keeping a permanent record in their heads of all my wrongs. What I didn’t mention is that I sometimes struggle with doing the same for myself. Just like I’ve labelled myself a bird-killer, I’ve also labelled myself a lot of other things. I’ve labelled myself as a pervert for lusting; as lazy for procrastinating; as stupid for saying something wrong; as unlovable for not being welcoming enough to others, etc.

Jesus died and rose again, taking all of my sin to death with him, and leaving it there. He has removed from me all the labels that my sins and iniquities would assign me and given me the permanent position, the oneness, with Him and the Father and the Holy Spirit that he has. 

I refuse to be defined by sins and failures, and you should too.

So much more

I need so much more of you

so much more than ever before

and so much more the sooner.

You are the God of so much more

than I know and have known

and will ever know,

and so much more do I want to know now

than I’ve ever known before.

Amen.